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Plane Truth: Shift Happens at 35,000 Feet
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ISBN: 1-57023-211-3
Click here to view the back cover.
By A. Frank Steward
Air travel can be a shifty business when you fly with A. Frank Steward!
This long-awaited sequel to The Air Traveler's Survival Guide (Impact Publications, 2001) is packed with stories about the crazy, humorous, and sad events that happen in the air travel industry, affecting crewmembers and passengers alike. In his engaging, sympathetic style, a very Frank Steward continues to share his experiences as a seasoned flight attendant whose wife is a pilot. You'll get a glimpse into their role-reversal lives and the lives of others at 35,000 feet. Along the way, Frank gives sound advice about coping with lifes curve balls and navigating the complex world of flying, especially in the aftermath of 9/11.
Among the many entertaining and true eye-openers in this volume are:
- A real-life in-flight scalping
- An unusual way a lovely stewardess earns extra money
- Outrageous things that happen in the cockpit
- Eating exotic food can have excruciating consequences
- Not all celebrities are what they seem to be
- Crewmembers' adventures in-flight and on layovers
- Some photo albums and movies can be seen by the wrong eyes
- Certain things airline crews don't want you to know
- The surgical procedure common among female flight attendants
As readers laugh, grimace, and cry while reading Frank's attention-grabbing anecdotes, theyll discover wonderful nuggets of travel helps to use immediately:
- Tips on personal hygiene at 35,000 feet
- Ten rules for getting through security
- Keeping healthy in germ-infested hotel rooms
- Ways to improve your air travel experience
All this and much more between the covers of The Plane Truth. Buckle up for a great read because in this flight Shift Happens!
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- The Truth According to A. Frank Steward
- Terminal 1: A Frank Take-Off
- Terminal 2: Reaching Crewsing Altitude
- Terminal 3: Making the Frank Connection
- Terminal 4: Hooked on In-Flight
- Terminal 5: Frankly Venting
- Terminal 6: Time for Landing
A. Frank Steward is a pseudonym for a seasoned flight attendant who has worked with two major international carriers during the past 15 years. He has flown over 6 million miles, encountered over half a million passengers, endured over 1,000 different delays and cancellations, argued with over 500 frequent flyers, flown to approximately 100 countries, and probably offended over a dozen cultures. Currently a flight attendant with a major international carrier, he lives in the U.S. with his wife Martha, who is an airline pilot.
Enjoy the following story from The Plane Truth!
PLANE GENUIS
Unfortunately, the larger the airline, the less sense of humor the employees are allowed. Major international airlines have to remain politically correct, while the low-cost domestic airlines can get away with humorous announcements, jokes, and even casual uniforms. I work for a major airline and am not supposed to reveal my sense of humor to the passengers. It doesn't necessarily mean I always follow the rules, but that is another matter.
This lack of humor in my airline results in a sterile approach to air travel. Officially, I am not even allowed to say Merry Christmas for fear of insulting someone with other beliefs. Such is the case concerning all of the holidays. It may sound ridiculous but it's the truth.
So while the smaller carriers make you laugh, the larger ones try not to offend in any way, shape, or form, and reward you with exotic destinations and frequent flyer points. Occasionally, though, a few good stories stand out that can't go unmentioned.
The captain for the low-cost carrier, No Frills, was in a hurry to push back before the plane next to him. It belonged to the major airline, XYZ, and was scheduled to depart at about the same time. This type of race is a small but harmless game they play up front, so the pilots in the XYZ airplane were most assuredly hurrying as well. The No Frills Captain had previously been furloughed from XYZ, so naturally some spite remained.
When the tower granted No Frills permission to push back first, the captain made the following announcement:
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard. We are happy to have you joining us today. Here at No Frills we like to think of us as the true friendly airline. If you look out your window on the right side, you will see the airline that claims to be of the friendly skies. Please watch the pilot's reaction to us pushing back first."
At that moment, both of the No Frills pilots flipped a blatant middle finger at the two pilots in the XYZ plane. The XYZ pilots returned the gesture with aggressive vigor. What they were unaware of was that more than a hundred passengers were witnessing their actions.
Now folks, does that look like the friendly skies to you?
Game, set and match!
PRAISE FROM REVIEWERS
"...Provides a blend of entertainment and insight into air travel. Blend stories of outrageous things happening in the cockpit and stewardess side jobs to airline bankruptcies and you have an unusually hilarious guide offering no end of laughter."--Library Bookwatch
0408
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Price: $14.95
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